Have a Strong Marriage

The Keys to a Strong Marriage: Understanding Emotional Needs

Having a strong marriage is not a coincidence, but rather the result of being well-informed and equipped to face the challenges that will inevitably arise. With over 30 years of marriage experience and 15 years conducting seminars for couples, Dr. Consuegra shares valuable insights on how to strengthen the marital relationship.

The Importance of Preparation

Before taking the step toward marriage, Consuegra emphasizes two fundamental aspects:

Premarital counseling is essential. It is recommended to participate in programs like “Prepare,” which help couples explore critical areas such as communication, conflict resolution, and mutual expectations.
Avoid cohabitation before marriage. Statistics show that couples who live together before getting married are 80% more likely to divorce later.

The Love Bank

One of the most useful metaphors for understanding marital dynamics is the concept of the “love bank.” Every interaction with our spouse can be seen as an emotional deposit or withdrawal:

Positive Deposits:

Words of appreciation and compliments
Gestures of affection
Attention and quality time
Recognition of efforts

Negative Withdrawals:

Outbursts of anger
Repetitive annoying behaviors
Dishonesty and lack of transparency
Destructive criticism

Different Emotional Needs

The article reveals that men and women have different emotional needs that must be understood and addressed:

Main Needs of Women:

Affection (not necessarily sexual)
Conversation and deep communication
Financial security
Honesty and openness

Main Needs of Men:

Sexual satisfaction
Recreational companionship
Domestic support
Admiration and recognition

Communication: The Key Piece

Dr. Consuegra emphasizes the importance of effective communication:

Men must learn to listen without trying to “fix” immediately
Women need to express whether they are seeking solutions or just want to be heard
Honesty and transparency are fundamental
Patience is crucial when it comes to expressing feelings

Building Together

To maintain a strong marriage, couples must:

Find activities they enjoy together
Maintain transparency in all aspects of life
Work as a team in domestic responsibilities
Value and recognize mutual efforts

Conclusion

A strong marriage requires commitment, understanding, and constant work from both parties. Understanding and attending to the spouse’s emotional needs, maintaining effective communication, and building a healthy love bank are fundamental elements for a lasting and satisfying marital relationship.